Is this a deal-breaker to most people, or is it mostly just my lack of self-confidence that’s an issue?Dear Embarrassed: I did say all that stuff, so, sorry: Your teeth might be a dealbreaker for me in feeling attracted to you.
Or it might be something else, like how I always think of the worst possible thing to say for any occasion and many times my filter does not catch these things before I say them out loud. I don’t believe that you must smooth all your imperfections (or what society perceives as imperfections) away to become a thin, (straight, white), wealthy, positive!
We talk a lot about “Rules of Dating” here, but let me throw some big ideas out there about attraction, fairness, and what people “deserve” in dating: 1. Everyone has something about themselves that might be a dealbreaker for someone else in becoming attracted to them. blindingly-teethed Chris Traeger-bot before you deserve to put yourself out there, meet people, and try to find love.
Mentally and socially I’m a mess, but I’d go way over 500 words if I tried to describe it all. I’m tall, not overweight, somewhat fit but not too obsessed about it, full head of hair (graying but that’s OK), and…horrible teeth.
It’s embarrassing to talk about, but these last few months of trying online dating have kind of broken through my shyness.
The truth is, even if your teeth were great and your life were somehow perfect, you’d still have issues about something, and if you didn’t personally feel that you did, the culture would try to make you have them. If you’re talking yourself into feeling it for someone, that’s a sign that you are NOT actually feeling it.
Anyone who tells you differently is selling something. It is *the* way to get us to lie down in Procrustes’s magic bed of our own free will. You get to reject people (and they get to reject you) as dating partners for any reason at any time. Which also means people get to make snap judgments about you and decide, “and there is no way you can “deserve” attention or affection from a specific person. I’m asthmatic, and even the residue/smell on clothes triggers my wheezing. Your profile lists 10,000 supercool books, bands, and movies and all of it was made by white men? You live in a place not reachable by public transit? But 1,000s of guys are looking at my profile and thinking, “” to call me names and remind me that I shouldn’t get to be picky or “judgmental” about men when I am such a fatty-fat-fatty (manatee, cow, pig, whale, she-beast, etc.) They feel “tricked” into “wasting time” looking at my profile.
I didn’t know back when I started this thing that I was, you know, starting A Thing, with Jedi Hugs and FEELINGSBOMBS and African Violets.
Thanks to you we have one of the best commentspaces on the Internet, and letter writers can always depend on you to support them and help them out.
w=264" data-large-file="https://captainawkwarddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/chris_traeger.jpg? w=132 132w" sizes="(max-width: 264px) 100vw, 264px" / Happy New Year, Awkwardtown!