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I’m also dismayed to find that Naughty Boy69 is also unavailable. Two hours later my inbox is still ringing hollow – not a single response.

Testing if the experience is gender-specific, I coax a female colleague (see right) into signing up to a rival site. On a separate account, posing as a woman, I get chatting to a male user.

Priming myself not to lie or deceive, I set up a profile.

We are working with law enforcement agencies, which are investigating. There’s the option to send digital gifts: a teddy bear, a rose or a sapphire necklace (at £16! I swap the last of my credits for 30 minutes of live chat.

Any and all parties responsible for this act of cyber–terrorism will be held responsible.”For now, the site is still charging, apparently banking on the impulsivity that drives online gambling. A message pops up “hi can give you a strip show right now… ” I am directed to a live webcam site but with one eye on my expenses claim, I decide to call it a day and let the flood of red-lip emojis cascade over me.

But they are outnumbered by a second group of twentysomethings who are just as straightforward.

“A sugar daddy,” comes one succinct response to my introductory question. The site invites me to spend it at every turn, and users were even charged £15 to delete their profile prior to the hack.

Aping a provincial nightclub, women are granted full use of the site free of charge, while men have to pay. I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t just sign up for the Affair Guarantee Package of 2,000 credits at a reasonable £229.80.

While I um and ah about forking out another wedge, the messages start to arrive.

One is old enough to be my mother and has a username that, without giving too much away, is an instruction to engage part of my mouth with a baked good she has in her possession.

Another user says she’s looking for: “A passionate one-night stand like there is no tomorrow”.

Here's where you can meet singles in San Diego, California.

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