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Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part.

He also brushed off a chance to set the record straight without lying.

I don’t know where the real user was located, but our virtual meeting space within Second Life was called “The Netherlands.” Or maybe “she” was really a he, controlling a female avatar. If it’s not clear already, “virtual sex” can be a little complicated.

But there was a real person on a computer somewhere in the world making her avatar have sex with my avatar by clicking a pink ball on the ground.

Two main issues are in play here: honesty and uncommunicated expectations.

First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.

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When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

He said that having sex online was harmless and a way to "get off" without breaking his marriage vows (we've been married 10 years). A: This is a situation I see more and more often as the Internet becomes a staple in homes.

People assume that because they are with a person they know pretty well, they also know how their mate feels about these topics. Sit down with your husband to have this discussion.

428 Comments

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