I had no one to perform for, to impress, or to make myself valuable to. I was totally free to be myself (just as soon as I figured out who that was), I was free to question my beliefs, my lifestyle, and my tastes.
I couldn’t have done those things if I had remained married.
Get advice on healing from his behavior and finding yourself again. It’s been too long since you felt that you were as important as he is.
Stop Covering for Him When you’re married to a narcissist it becomes normal to put yourself last, to become a martyr, to accept his bad behavior, and even to cover it up so other people, and even the kids, don’t notice it.
He believes it’s your job to make him look good and you have probably been doing that for decades.
You will need to learn to allow him to deal with his own consequences.
You have to learn to love yourself, to see yourself as valuable, and to nurture yourself.
Be a little self-indulgent because you are the only one that will.
This may seem counterproductive but it is important that you have your emotional needs filled somewhere.
Getting an A and a really difficult psychology test might do that for you.
“Look, if it’s accepted that you can fall off your horse, you will ride stronger.