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It gave me a real complex and induced a crippling shyness in me. I'm still really shy so I never let it go to my head or take it seriously. The flip side of your story is that nobody wants you.

Now I get hit on all the time by guys and girls in the 20s. A few times I've had girls take pictures of me on their phones while just walking down the street. Yes, there must be something wrong with everybody else, not you.[quote]Either you pony up with the cash, or settle for some schlub with a daddy complex. I dated a younger guy who definitely felt that way.

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It sucks for me, at 41, because most guys my own age whom I try to date are hung up on much younger or older..don't stay in their age range. Straight men and gay men want younger partners, obsess about younger partners, and pay through the sphincter for younger partners. Gay women can try to date at all ages without being jeered at. I’m now in my mid-50s, and I had a partner for almost 20 years until he died a few years ago.

I've always been one to seek out men for relationships who have been on earth about as long as I have, because that's where the most comfort and commonality can occur with a stranger. I don't know if it's because I didn't have a relationship in my 20s or because the younger guys have the look that attracts me -- not many guys in their 40s can pull off the hipster look and not appear ridiculous. I then realized that dating as a 50-year-old was going to be a lot more difficult than when I was 30 for a variety of reasons, including (a) there just aren’t as many guys in my age group; and (b) a lot of them are already partnered. OP, I'm 49, I have no particular interest in guys in their 20s or even their 30s for the most part, but I'm on Scruff and I'm constantly getting messages, woofs, etc., from guys in their 20s - much more than any other age bracket. If you plan to visit the daddy sites that are recommended here, you'd better beef up your bank account.

I am 45, not quite elder-gay but definitely middle-aged (in the truest sense, since I expect to live to be 90, at least). I am most definitely not looking to be a sugar daddy or any kind of daddy for that matter. Are there any dating websites geared toward this demographic, preferably one that isn't promoting a fetish, like silver daddy or bears, etc.?

Doll, in gay years you're not just an eldergay you're pretty much in God's waiting room.

I feel very fortunate because I've found someone who's mature, responsible, dependable, and considerate.

I, and others my age who are like me, find those qualities very attractive, and an older man is likelier to possess them.

And he went on to say it would be even hotter if I were in my 30s or 40s !!??

I'm 30 years old and have been seeing a 44 year old guy for about 10 months. I know there are guys my age who prefer older men, and not necessarily just for money.

OP, why not try your luck on a "normal" dating site and include your preference in your profile?

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