When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.We just know “Yes, I’m attracted to that person” or “No, I’m not”. An amazing actor can pull this off for a little while. It affects how you talk to people, the way you perceive the world and how you interact with it. And like Binary Sunset, this is a theme that’s going to be recurring throughout your letter.
Which is why I suspect that part of the problem you’re having here is that you have a hole marked “Girlfriend” that you’re trying to fill and are less concerned about who fills it. …but all of them have rejected me with words along the lines of “it was lovely to meet you but I’m not sure I felt enough of a connection for a second date”. All of this despite evidence that they were interested in me, flowing conversation punctuated by laughter and even occasional arm touches etc. OK someone call Sir Mix-A-Lott because I hear a big “But” coming… If by “being ignored by women”, you mean that women aren’t approaching you for dates, then we’ve found your first problem.
When you want to have a second date with literally woman you’ve been on a date with, I’m left thinking that you’ve set the bar for a second date so low that you could trip over it. What you’re describing as “being ignored” is “women going about their daily lives”, which, remarkably, doesn’t revolve around you or your boner.
And while, yes, we are dealing with the consequences of the paradox of choice when it comes to dating, that’s something that affects men and women.
Which means – say it with me now: this isn’t an example of female privilege.
that allows women to dictate every stage of the relationship: the second date, the pace of the relationship, initial sexual contact, and marriage, message and, for that matter, every gay or bi man you didn’t ask out.
You dictated the terms of the relationship with the two – or three – women you didn’t want a second date from.
But attraction and compatibility are physical components, too, and they are impossible to determine until you meet in person.
There are a multitude of signals and signs that dictate who we are and aren’t attracted to – many of which we aren’t consciously aware of.
Just me forever alone, and nothing I can do about it. And, once again: this isn’t an example of female privilege.
All this talk of female oppression and male privilege, but nothing about the female privilege…
And despite spending the last 11 years trying to find a girlfriend, I haven’t had a single one, and – to add insult to injury – I’m still a virgin! Of those, I felt the vast majority went well – I do have social skills after all – and I expressed interest in a second date for 17 or 18 of the women…