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Yes, I know my life is one that would turn a normal human into an alcoholic but after searching through my wealth of knowledge for a reason why my pants were shrinking in the dryer when I air them and being unable to convince myself that all of a sudden clothes shrink in the washer too…. At one point, I literally screamed “THIS IS INSANE”, waking up everyone within a 20 mile radius of me. I just received this message: “It says on your profile you are a credit risk analyst, so I had a question for you.

Let’s just say that first morning when I woke up there and had no coffee to drink I knew that things with him would not last long. This guy was so, so funny through our emails but then when I actually met him I swear to you, I have never met a more awkward person. Usually when someone says “so, do you have any siblings” the other person responds with a “yes” or “no” and if yes, will most likely go into some detail…then will say “what about you? We ended up walking tired, that we didn’t want to walk back. I spotted one of those bike-taxis and hailed it down. Of course we started chatting with him, only to find out that his name was Geoffrey Slagheap. He let me down easy telling me “it’s the end of the season, maybe next year…” Umm, it was July.

A few things here: 1) At the time like 5 guys I was either hooking up with/had a crush on/had a crush on me had a name that started with a G or J. Regardless, it was the most fun 7 minutes I had all summer! And here are a few pictures I have of this epic night…

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So I got a big kick out that and kept saying ‘OMG, your name is GEOFF, WITH A G’. When we got home we asked how much it cost and he said it was however much you wanted to pay! Ok so here is a tutorial of how to use the pro/con list: Clearly, things did not work out between us.

My friends all got out to give him but I was like ‘no way guys, that was epic and hilarious and awesome!

If however you mock me for being a ‘vale Victorian’ I will sneak out of the bathroom window. ” follow up text from me and when I hadn’t heard from him for a few days I naively believed I was off the hook with that one. He called twice Sunday (I didn’t respond), texted twice Monday (I responded with– “This week is super busy. Oh, well, lesson learned…next time I’m just going to be like “sorry, I just don’t think it’s going to work out.” Oyy. My guy friends were all super jealous that I was crusing around in Lambos and Bentelys even though that really means nothing to me. Last week I decided to take one more quick browse at Jdate and found someone actually interesting. It would just be so absolutely fantastic if I could actually like and date someone who was Jewish and a Democrat. But, alas, despite the hopes and prayers of my entire family, that just has never been the case. I think the sole reason he let me borrow it was for the inevitable “holy crap. i think i’m dead’ text that was sent 9 minutes after I finished.

If you’ve never heard of my university you lose points because I worked so damn hard to get there and it’s a great school, but you’re not out of the running. Ok, now I’m just all worked up and frazzled so that’s the end of this post. Anyway, there was obviously no “thanks again, I had a great time! Ok, so I know that I handled the situation extremely wrong because I should have just been straight-up honest from the beginning, but I just get so uncomfortable with situations like that, especially because he was just so freaking awkward and I just didn’t want to deal with it. The people on it are literally the most awkward human beings in existence. Although, it was sort of fun dating the Mafia guy for a few weeks and pretending I was a millionaire. And then this morning I woke up and did the Insanity dvd that my friend let me borrow.

I definitely secretly still have a crush on him 😉 2) DB loved good coffee just as much as I did.

One of our first conversations was about our mutual love for it and it was at that moment I knew I would fall hard for him.

However, due to past experience I know for a fact that whenever I like someone, they will not like me back.

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  1. Those unions could also lead to a more harmonious society, the study from Ortega and Hergovich found.

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