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He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.

He’s not really sure how to be single but he’s goddamn happy he is, and he’s sure as hell going out tonight.

He’s also the arch-nemesis of The Resigned Fiance, who’s in an equally unhappy relationship but just kind of kept going with it, unable to resist the sweet, sweet inertia, and who most certainly does not want to hear about The New Lease On Life Guy’s latest exploits.

The Misogynist’s close cousin is The Perpetual Cheater. Back in the day, The Guy Who Peaked Too Early had everything a 17-year-old girl could ever dream of.

His sky-high confidence carried him smoothly through college, and no one was surprised when he landed a smart, sweet, beautiful girlfriend in his early 20s.

He appreciates all the unsolicited support, but he also thinks it would be pretty great if everyone stopped thinking there was something wrong with him.

The opposite of the previous guy, The Aggressively Online Dating Guy Who Can’t Believe He’s Not Married Yet can’t believe he’s not married yet.

Realizing this about five years after everyone else, he takes a deep sigh and cranks his standards down a few big notches.

On the other side of the coin, after losing some weight, getting decent clothes, and having early career success, The Guy Who’s Finally a Good Catch is getting more attention each week than he got in his first 25 years combined.

Now it’s seven years later, his hair got bored and left, and his high school lacrosse glory isn’t part of the conversation that much these days.

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