What struck me about this article was the section where Blow interviews a college professor who recently wrote, Hooking Up: Sex, Dating and Relationships on Campus.He asked her to explain the “pros and cons of this strange culture”: According to her, the pros are that hooking up emphasizes group friendships over the one-pair model of dating, and, therefore, removes the negative stigma from those who can’t get a date.
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This pressure is particularly acute for women, who can be called “left-over women” if they pass the age of 26 or 27 without finding a husband.
Men can find themselves similarly left-over if they wait too long to get married.
Blow, explained: is the opposite of what I remember.
Under the old model, you dated a few times and, if you really liked the person, you might consider having sex.
So began a fascinating recent opinion column in the New York Times titled, “The Demise of Dating.” In the past, a boy would ask a girl out to dinner, or to a movie, and they’d get to know each other and decide if they wanted to pursue a deeper relationship.
Sex sometimes occurred on the first date, but usually was postponed because it signified a deeper commitment (even if that commitment didn’t last long.) Today, many young people socialize in groups of friends, and part of the activities may include “hooking up” with one of these friends for sex, with no expectation of an ongoing relationship afterward.
The actual experience of dating in China can also be somewhat different.
For example, you’ll often see Chinese couples wearing matching outfits, which is almost unheard of in the West.
It’s not uncommon for parents and grandparents to set their children up on blind dates with suitable matches they’ve found.
If their child’s significant other doesn’t meet with the parents’ approval, continuing the relationship will be very difficult.
Because of China’s rigorous college entrance examination, dating is rarely tolerated among high school students. That doesn’t mean that Chinese teens don’t have high school crushes or even relationships (mostly secret ones).