Find a way to work through the lingering emotions from the demise of your marriage, advises psychologist Robert Alberti, Ph D, co-author of Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends.
That may mean talking out your feelings with a therapist or focusing your energy in a healthy activity you enjoy.
"As long as the changes you make are healthy and constructive, these are very appropriate," says Alberti.
"Think about who you want to be -- the person you were before the marriage, or maybe a new person?
Society is much more accepting of singles than even a decade ago, when solo restaurant diners often got the hairy eyeball.
"There are more than 30 million people living alone in this country today," Falk says.
It can be a way to work toward a better life, with someone who has no agenda but YOU. But the fact is that many people feel a lot of self-rejection after a divorce.
"You might think that there must be something wrong with you if you couldn't make this relationship work," Alberti says.
"You may feel remorse for what you did or didn't do, or wonder what you did wrong.
Don't dwell on those feelings, but make room for them," Falk says. There is an empty space where something once filled it up, even if that something may not have been desirable." Don't tote that heavy baggage from your previous relationship into your new life.
But however you got here, the question now is where do you go from here?
And how do you figure out who you are and what you want as a newly single person?
" Even if, by the time you split, the divorce was something you wanted, a divorce still represents a loss.