They hear the various horror stories about guys being labeled as creepy for trying to hit on women at cons or approaching women they see on the bus or on the train or trying to slide into their DMs and then lament that there are no acceptable ways for men to hit on women any more.Almost every time a woman shares a story about just trying to get through their commute or catch up on their reading during their lunch hour, there’s a host of men complaining about how this isn’t fair to their dicks.There’s that constant feeling that you’re just one misplaced emoji away from being exiled to the Island of Unfuckable Boys, there to live out your life in monklike celibacy, forever mourning your stillborn love life.
If you’re still struggling to get that first date, then you’re better choosing lower-risk, lower-investment approaches like meeting people through your social circle.
Just remember: being well-calibrated and socially successful doesn’t mean that you’re guaranteed success; everybody has off days and some people will just no matter what.
The almost obsequious fawning in the message on Facebook makes it even more clear that this isn’t going to go anywhere good; sucking up isn’t a good look on .
So how do you gauge what’s likely out of your level?
The fact that “they” did it (for suitably vague definitions of “they”), then clearly it should be open to , no? The more socially calibrated and experienced you are, the more you can pull off; people who’re more socially calibrated are better at reading the social context, picking up on the other person’s signs and knowing how – if necessary – to extract themselves if things go badly.
Someone who is socially well-calibrated can get away with more than someone approaches; the odds are against you and you can end up making yourself seem creepy when you don’t intend to.Approaching people you don’t know and have no connection to means that you have to behave accordingly.Tracking them down on social media, randomly texting them (when they didn’t give you their number) or proclaiming your undying devotion for them when you don’t actually know each other are all examples of assuming excess levels of intimacy.The social context of being at church, for example, demands radically different behavior than being at a nightclub.the accepted social context, then you end up making people uncomfortable.Something that I see a lot of people struggle with when and how it’s appropriate to approach and hit on women.