Be sure to experience your surroundings to the fullest, by taking notice. Perhaps recall moments from your morning that went well.
I’m glad I was able to make that telephone connection and cross the task off my list. Parents have known and loved their children for so long that forgiveness may be second nature – – or not. Because of the personal benefits, forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself. In a study published by National Institute of Health in 2011, researchers found that older adults (median age 66) who forgive others report higher levels of life satisfaction.
I arrived at the office earlier than my boss this morning. Looking to the future with a positive focus promotes the well-known attitude of gratitude that’s so helpful. I look forward to my favorite television show tonight. Perhaps you blame other people who are involved with your adult children. Forgiving freely, without requiring an act of contrition, (such as an apology or admission), was particularly beneficial.
Holding one’s forgiveness hostage to some act or condition was associated with psychological distress and symptoms of depression. Accepting the reality of an adult child’s abandonment, and your helplessness to change it, may feel like letting go of hope.
When an adult child abandons parents, or in some cases the entire family, the what-ifs and how-coulds can limit recovery. But staring at the silent telephone, desperately waiting for the uncertain return of your adult child can lead to despair.
After an adult child’s rejection, the idea of moving on can feel like giving up, so trying to move forward brings guilt. What kind of a parent just gets on with life as if nothing has happened? Most, on some level, hold out hope for reconciliation.
You may question everything you thought about your child, your relationship, and how your life will continue in relation to your son or daughter, and perhaps in relation to your prior expectations. Parents may have a sense of failure at having tried everything, but nothing has worked to restore the relationship.
Getting to a point where you feel you’ve moved on may take time, so be kind to yourself. These are just a few of the feelings you may encounter in response to an adult child’s rejection, betrayal or neglect.
Once you respond positively to someone’s message, they will assume that you are interested in starting to build a relationship.
Don’t be surprised if the messages become more revealing and your suitor eventually asks for your number or to meet in person.
This is when you need to utilize The Polite Decline, a short, nice note that thanks the person for their interest but lets them know that they are barking up the wrong tree.