One woman sends me a message heavily laden with sexual innuendo and I come to regard her as the mistress of the single entendre. Another woman's first contact with me included a plan for a day out together, including visits to art galleries, a stroll round a park and then "a few hours under the duvet". I'm later propositioned by someone who tells me she has an hourglass figure.
Her photograph reveals that the hour has stretched to 90 minutes.
And all of them are looking for an opportunity to betray their spouses. But I wanted to find out what sort of woman uses such a site.
So I paid £119 for a month's membership, giving me an entre to thousands of faithless females.
These days, lots of dating apps pull your information from Facebook, allow you to add some additional stats, and get started on swiping and messaging from there, which means that the social media juggernaut is practically a requirement for online dating.
But whether you're ready to delete your account or you never had one in the first place, there are plenty of dating apps that work without Facebook.
Reading it on my laptop in the aptly named Cafe Affaire in central London, I consider what she really wants: a no-strings-attached sexual relationship.
What I don't know is how her husband will feel about it. Aside from the little matter of her marital status, she also believes I have a wife, but she doesn't care.
She seems rather on edge and sends me a text message at the time we're due to meet asking why I'm using the website.
I reply, telling her to come over and ask me face to face. She looks furtively around and asks me if I'm nervous. There is tension in the air like North and South Korea coming together to hammer out a treaty.
"My preference is for a man who is much younger than me with rugged features," says one. This is a way of paying someone a compliment without typing out the words. And over the course of a week I get almost 100 replies, messages and propositions.
Postings such as: "I want a man who can look after me and knows how to treat a woman. I'm surprised and unsettled by the forward tone of some of the material. Determined to avoid the connotations, I reply: "The Beatles." I never hear from her again.
"Sophia" tells me she thinks relationships have a shelf life of about ten years before boredom sets in, but that she stays married to ensure her children have a stable home.