This kind of distorted cognitions can only be rectified through the regular and meaningful interactions, which help individuals find out that they are worthy others' love and appreciation.
The basic ingredients for love As demonstrated by studies on interpersonal attraction, creating and maintaining love involves validating communications between the partners on a variety of issues, including understanding and concern for the partner's personal and emotional needs, developing companionship, physical attractiveness, cultivating and nurturing physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual well beings, respecting, supporting, forgiving, accepting and encouraging, expressions of appreciation and affection: sexual pleasure and fidelity, commitment, shared activities, as well as the absence of controlling, defensiveness, contempt, stonewalling, and blaming, among other factors.
To accomplish the above tasks, the partners need to engage in the meaningful interactions (face-to-face interactions, including both verbal and nonverbal communications), which allow one person to give to and receive from the other.
It is an artificial type because both rejection and acceptance by the daters are not about the rejection and acceptance of real persons, but of the imagined or perceived attributes of their categories. New computer technology has greatly expanded people's potential and freedom to communicate with one another, some of which may generate love and romantic relationships, but online dating/matching, at least in its current format, has restricted the freedom. "It is clear that online dating has at least two problems.
People never fall in love with categories (even e Harmony's use of personality traits as the basis of matching does not represent real diverse human experiences and characteristics), because only real interpersonal process can create the feeling of love. First, it is an opposite of face-to -face interaction.
Love is created and maintained by the process of meaningful communications (including validating accurate perceptions and invalidating inaccurate perceptions of interpersonal reality). Additionally, love is highly individualistically based. Second, it does not help heal the emotional pains of some online daters." Please step into the 21st century of easy online communication and personal mobility. I would suggest introspection and psychotherapy, not any kind of dating.
Every online match I've ever seen moved at a deliberate pace from exchange of emails to IMs to phone to Skype to meeting face to face. Here's the study that needs to be done: Do couples who meet online through e.g.
All categories are just the maps or substitutes of social reality, not the reality itself.
When people use categories to predict an interaction (but not pay attention to the other's real communications, they will produce two outcomes: a), avoiding love from right individuals, and, b) approaching the wrong person(s).
The research findings can be summarized as followings: 1.
Online daters tend to fill in the information gaps with positive qualities in a potential partner; on the other hand, everyone wants to make the self appear as attractive as possible to potential dates by exaggerating the self desirable traits. There are gender differences in both preference and messaging behavior on online dating sites.
Some people believe that recent research on online dating/matching sheds a new light on understanding attraction, love, and romantic relationships.