It is in the best interest of everyone if you just remind your ex to think of the well being of your son and to always keep your son's safety in mind and not demand that who he dates meets your approval.
Negitive talking about each other and thier significant others is bad for the child. Don't necessarily need to bad mouth the IN NEED of Care lady, just him know you don't want him introducing your son to women he dates. If he wishes to bring her around your son, there is nothing at all you can do about it unless she is banned by the courts. I have a 4 year old as well, and she can recite her whole day to me.
It is the worse feeling to hear a parent say such things about the other parent. They never knew how much it hurt as a child until 11 yrs ago. If it seems like he is safe and doesnt pick up any bad traits I wouldnt worry yourself over it.
I am twenty years younger than my husband, and our relationship works nicely. You can't demand your ex to not bring this young lady around your son, but you can explain your views and suggest he do what you are. If he wants to be her babysitter so be it, like you said do NOT bring her around your son ever.
Chances are he will dismiss what you say, but at least you gave it a try..you never know, he may say "your right". My grandpa remarried a young lady a year older than my mother! I am glad you have taken the position to not introduce your son to men you are dating, it hurts more then helps, in my mind anyway.
my ex husband is dating someone 16 years younger than him and she is 16 years older than our son.
i just need advice how to get through it all i guess.
My mother now makes sure she wathches what she says around my kids..still forgets about me. Whatever happens, keep the hatred, anger, and disappointments reguarding your ex away from your son. After all his dad is supposed to be taking care of him, not his girlfriend.
Be happy (or act it) when your son tells you stories of his time with his dad..his girlfriend. it's not easy seeing you ex with such a young lady... I hope that you can trust your ex to take good care of your son.
soooo...that's all the more reason to stay away from my son...right?!? Although your ex should be respectful to you for the sake of your son, it is not your decision who can and cannot be around him when he is with his father. However, if he puts your child in danger or around a potentially harmful situation or a dangerous person, you can request suspension of parental visits; but to just decide of your own accord that this person your ex decides to be with is not suitable to be around your son is ridiculous.
You aren't helping the situation by trying to control the situation.
It's hard enough on him already to be the child of divorced parents. I am 18 years younger than my husband and 12 years older than his son.