I am HIV positive, but it is undetectable, which means I am one of the estimated 30 percent of the 1.2 million people living with HIV in the United States who cannot transmit the virus.
Undetectable means is that the amount of HIV virus in my blood cannot be detected by a lab test.
We made complex weekday dinners to distract ourselves from the fact that we were both pretty bored with each other.
grown up, because I had never even been tested for HIV at my yearly checkup at Planned Parenthood, where I went for primary care.
That's why I initially avoided the entire conversation when I tried to get my groove back after Matt.
For a while, I either didn't disclose my status at all or disclosed way too late for a number of reasons.
Taking care of your health is more adult than playing house with a boyfriend, yet, even though I had been tested for STIs, I had never thought of getting an HIV test.
But one day, randomly, I added the HIV rapid test to the list of things to do before intake to my pap smear appointment.Matt never been a good match for me, really; my diagnosis just shined a spotlight on that.The only bad thing about breaking up with Matt was the realization that I would have to start dating again.After my diagnosis, Matt and I stopped making dinner together, speaking to each other, and sleeping in the same bed.(He was negative, and had been getting tested his entire life.) We broke up within the year.I grew up during the HIV/AIDS crisis and should have known better, but as a heterosexual woman, I equated safe sex with not getting pregnant more than with getting an STI, let alone HIV. It's embarrassing to admit that now, but I really did ignorantly think sex was all fun and games.