If you don't have good approaches to managing your differences, your disagreements will take a toll over time.
Conflict can raise your level of negativity and undermine mutuality.
This pattern is what's primarily behind the stereotypes of the 'nagging' wife and the husband who 'doesn't talk.'All of these factors can chip away at the strength of your bond, in part by disrupting the brain chemistry that underlies it.
Many couples count on the strength of their initial bond to get them through these challenges and can't imagine that it might fade.
So what can couples do to avoid the seemingly inevitable slide toward greater disengagement? But for most couples, it doesn't happen on its own.
You have to plan and strategize to keep your bond strong. Marriage research has revealed that happy couples have at least five positive interactions for every negative one.
And it's one that tends to go by the way when lives become busy. Your disagreements are something that both of you must take an active role in managing.
Remember how curious you were to learn the details of each other's lives when you were getting to know one another? Planning and dreaming together are bonding for both genders.
Appreciate the male need to bond through shared activities.
Make time for the intimate talking that women usually prefer for bonding--but make it easier for him by scheduling it at a good time, setting a time limit on these discussions, and limiting any negativity. Schedule a regular date night, especially if things are slowing down.
They may be less comfortable with closeness and trust, find it difficult to depend on others or be depended upon.
On average their relationships last about half as long as those with the more secure style.
Then there are just the day-to-day pressures that tend to pull couples apart--jobs and careers, finances, kids, not enough time in your day.